So, I need to get motivated to DO. That's it. Just do.
There was a time when I would be constantly reading, constantly writing. A part of me is wondering am I supposed to be doing something else? Or am I subconsciously depressed or losing hope? I've been at writing for over 20 years now, and I know I had goals for myself and that sometimes those aren't what meant to be, but yeesh.
And am I scared of rejection on my fantasy novel which I'm 99.999% sure is finally polished enough to throw out there? I mean, I've already put it out there to two of my choices. I'm definitely kind of scared to do contests again. Even though I didn't realize how unfinished my story was when I entered before, I'm not sure I want to enter it again. It's too much on my psyche, and I'm not one who will ever grow that fabled thick skin I keep hearing about.
No one at home asks about my writing anymore. They were really excited about my short story publication, but other than that, nothing. They've all got their own things happening, and I feel like I'm getting left behind. My older sister keeps getting jobs she wants. My little sister was promoted like 8 times in the span of a year. I'm just here floating, bored to death in a part-time job that barely pays the bills, looking for less boring jobs that will pay my bills twice over, but hoping this won't always be my life.
Okay, so maybe I'm consciously depressed and losing hope, which is whack because last year, I was toting and chanting that 2015 was going to be my year. It's not even the middle of the year yet, and I've lost that zeal. I thought this was supposed to happen during the winter seasons. Blah.
Where's Tony Little to scream, "You can do it?!" in my ear?