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Delaware, United States
Deborah Hawkins, penned Debra Renée Byrd, began writing after a blank book project in elementary school and never stopped, fashioning stories based on her favorite TV shows and movies before creating more original works. She studied at the University of the Arts and Florida State University before settling down and graduating from Temple University. She now resides in her hometown of Dover, DE, where she spends most of her time at work or at church. She loves fantasies, superheroes, is a trekkie and a brown coat. She loves television and lives for Final Fantasy video games, having collected most of them. She has read a myriad of authors, and her favorite authors change whenever she finds a new book that changes her life... "When you can't run, you crawl. When you can't crawl...well, you know the rest." -Tracey, Firefly, "The Message"

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Sunday, October 25, 2015

Follow the Portal

I have a domain now! I decided the price was too good to pass up, so follow the portal (well, the link below it anyway) to my new blog page! Nothing is there yet, but there will be in November! :)

Friday, October 23, 2015

Friday Freeday: 400!

I can't believe this is my 400th post!

Thank you to my 100 readers, also. You make me want to keep writing SOMETHING. lol

That said, I think I know where I'm going next in blogging, and I'm kind of excited about it.

I'd mentioned flash fiction posts, and while I was kind of leery about it, I wondered how I could tie them into my WIP The Crystal Bearer. A tidbit about my story, my main character loves to read. So, why not do flash fictions based on tales that would be written in the world my story? I'm already writing a story based on one of the series she's reading, so why not take it a step further, you know? I think it would help keep my mind fresh.

They'll most likely be on Tuesdays, so I can call it Tuesday Tales. I'm obsessed with alliteration, I know. That said, I'd also like to sometimes do a Final Fantasy Friday (and bring back Wednesday Words). That's why I call myself the Write Mage, and the games are a big influence in my life as well as in The Crystal Bearer, after all. While I'm more knowledgeable about the mid-to-later games in the franchise, they are something I'd love to share with you all, too.

So, I believe that is where I'll be headed in November.  Heads up: these 400 posts may be under a new blog link and title then, so I can shift the focus.

Thank you again for being here to read the craziness that comes out of my head. :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

#amreading: Dragon of the Stars

Finally back with a new book to share with you all!

So our resident Ninja, Alex J. Cavanaugh, writes as well as that's not right...Ninjiates? Sure, why not.

I read Cassafire a little while back, the second book in his Cassa series (because I'm a rebel), and had tweeted often in my excitement about his newer book, Dragon of the Stars, which had a website attached to help us try to figure out what the Kargrandes are. I'm reading it fairly slowly, having burned through my Goodreads book challenge and working on revising and being a CP, but I still need to know what exactly the Kargrandes are, and I've come to realize I think I thouroughly enjoy military science fiction, if not, then Alex's books.

So, let me share with you some of this book using There are 240 pages in the Kindle edition, and Random has chosen for me page..................................114, which is almost halfway through the book.

He hesitated, but no one else held the proper qualifications. "You have the bridge until I return. Make sure everyone knows their duties."

Her eyes grew wide, but she nodded. "Yes, sir."

Aden sprung to his feet, determined to locate his missing lieutenant.

I can't imagine what's happened between where I am and this point, and I can't wait to get there, either!

What's everyone reading this week?

Friday, October 16, 2015


Forgive the language...or blame Dani and Jackie. haha Today, they would like to know those 5 things that drive you up a wall. You can visit them over at Cover Girls and comment with a link to your own post.

1. People talking loudly or listening to something loudly when you're trying to listen to something.
2. People who use curse words ALL THE TIME.
3. People who think they can sing but can't. As a musician, that offends me greatly.
4. When black people stare at other black people like they haven't seen black people before (sorry, got really specific with that one).
5. Guys who honk at you when you're walking down the street.

Have a great weekend! Share your 5 or anything that drives you crazy.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Mmmeh Blogging and Names

I preface this by saying I have to remember that Fall is my favorite season because of the beauty of the trees changing, the cool walking weather, and the smell of burning firewood, and that it's not about the utter destruction it causes to my health. I've been coughing for about 24 hours, and I want to lie down until I stop.

So, I remembered today is Tuesday, and I thought, "I really don't want to blog a ever again." This is, first off, typical of me. I start something with gusto and eventually get tired of it. It's most likely my topics. I realize I almost don't even talk about writing, so maybe I should work on that, because, you know, WRITE Mage. Maybe I need to shift my blog focus. Is it LG Keltner who does flash fiction posts? Maybe I can start that, get my head back in the game. So if I disappear in November/December (except on 1st Wednesdays), that is most likely what I'm doing. Also, be prepared if my posts become sporadic for the rest of the month.

This next piece is sponsored by the latest controversy of verbal diarrhea from Raven-Symoné and "ghetto names." While even as a black girl born in the mid 80s, I cringe at some of the names I hear around me and have often called them made up. Someone on Youtube once said to me, "All names are made up," and I didn't have a valid argument for that, so I didn't respond. My and many parents born in the 50s/60s (and were given "normal" names) also groan when they see the names parents born in the 70s/80s have named their children. And while some names are just plain unforgivable (did you ever hear of the mom complaining that the teachers couldn't pronounce her daughter's name La-a, pronounced LaDASHa? *scowl*), I understand that some people are trying to either be unique or reach back to an Africa they never had the chance to experience. For instance, my classmate Nyeisha, who has always hated her name, learned that Nye is Swedish for "truly golden" (and one of her middle names actually IS Golden), and Isha is Hebrew for "woman" and Indian for "protector/lord". Even if her mom didn't mean to do that, I think that's pretty powerful.

Nyeisha also shared this poem by a young woman whose name I imagine is spelled Shakandria (shu KAHN dree uh). If you have a Facebook, search Cassandra Whitlock McClary, who posted the poem. It even made me think twice about cringing at some names. Also, there's a writing project in the back of my head featuring warrior sisters, and maybe, just maybe, to help empower little girls out there whose names don't sound like my Hebrew first name, French middle name, British last name, that they can be great with something as simple as having MCs with names like theirs.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Friday Freeday

I don't know why I bother trying to keep a schedule. Express Yourself was supposed to be today, but I'm used to doing them on Tuesdays. SMH!

Oh well. I really don't have much to say. Allegra & company are helping with my allergies, but I need to pair it with something to open up my sinuses. Feels like inhaler time, too, so I should probably get my prescription renewed, though the health site I just read said expired inhalers won't kill you.

I had an interesting dream that I might want to flesh out into a story. We'll see. I've had a couple prospective ideas floating around my noggin. I'm once again pausing on querying while my new CP looks at The Crystal Bearer. Phew. One day, it's going to be published, by God.

NaNoWriMo is next month. I have some time to decide if I want to do it, but if so, I need to start *gasp* plotting something. I tried pantsing it once or twice and failed miserably. Plotting is definitely the way to go if I want to get 1000 words a day out. Maybe I'll write by hand for this.

Does anyone have any big plans for the weekend? Any new projects? I'd love to hear about them. :)

Thursday, October 8, 2015

IWSG: A Day Late!

I went home allergy-sick yesterday, so I forgot to post! So Happy Over-the-Hump Day! It's time for another Insecure Writer's Support Group post. This group was created by the ninja Alex J. Cavanaugh, and it's gotten so big that it has its own website, book, and upcoming anthology! We post (normally) every 1st Wednesday of the month, and you can sign up to join us any time!

This is mostly a post about being grateful for another group I joined last month. It's the Pitch Warriors, people who didn't make the cut during Pitch Wars. We mostly talk on Facebook, but it's such a helpful and encouraging group, and I even received a CP who I hope will be with me for the long term (she's also got a GREAT story I can't wait to see published). I'm a super introvert, so I rarely do any of these contests or groups to make new friends and what-not, but this time it's really nice to be around people who were on the same boat.

That's all. :-D

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Express Yourself: Scary Places (Wooooooo)

Happy Tuesday. :) The Cover Girls, aka Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests provide these fun questions for us to get to know their readers a little better and vice versa. Feel free to join in and comment their posts with the link to yours.

This week, they ask: Where would be the scariest place to spend Halloween?

Anyone else live in a town or state that has an old, prominent family in it? Ours are the DuPonts, and my cousin got married in their Bellevue House (which was turned into a park by the DuPont children), which is a replica of James Madison's Montpelier. My sister saw a crawlspace in the women's bathroom. We saw a hidden door in the room where the ceremony was, and I was able to pull a piece of the fireplace's broken brick out to peek inside. I'm sure had I moved the rubble, there would've been a secret switch or something. We even took my mom up to the DuPont estate Wintherthur for her birthday last year (it's so big, it has its own zip code).

Old, scary houses, especially mansions, always bring old ghosts to mind (like the awesomely bad movie The Haunting). One day, I'm going to start writing a ghosts-in-the-mansion story, but it would need to be really original. lol


Where do YOU think the scariest place to spend Halloween would be?

Friday, October 2, 2015

A Very Rainy Friday (Here Be Blog Memes)

Well, thank you, those two of you who took pity on me Wednesday! lol I now have...

Just kidding. I now have 100 Followers! I wish I had stuff to giveaway or something, but I'm a part-time casual/seasonal administrative assistant, so I don't. BUT I'm declaring that that will change soon, as one of the other admins just picked up another job! This department tends to keep its people, so the chances that I will be full time soon are HIGH!

And now for Fast Five Friday! This is created by the Cover Girls, Dani and Jax, who also do the Express Yourself Weekly meme, which is also below. You can visit their blog and participate by posting your own Fast Five answers and then commenting with the link to your post.

Today, they want us to rattle off 5 favorite classic literature novels that we adore. Some of mine are plays. I hope that's okay.

1. Death of a Salesman
2. The Glass Menagerie
3. Taming of the Shrew
4. A Christmas Carol
5. The Great Gatsby

For Express Yourself, they would also like to know what our favorite cookie/cake is.

I LOVE oatmeal raisin cookies. They're not only tasty, but you can eat them guilt-free any time of the day! Chocolate chip comes in a close second, but it has to be a really good chocolate chip cookie. I also love mousse cake and a Boston creme-style cake (though it doesn't have to have the chocolate frosting. I just love the pudding).

What are your favorite classic novels? Or cookies? Or cakes? lol

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Lost a Follower

Aww man. I was staring at my "99" followers hoping for the one to break me into 100, and I noticed today, I'm down to 98.

I know I'm not the most interesting of bloggers, and like me, maybe that person just got bored and didn't want anymore notifications. I can see that. I also kind of wish I interested more people...or that I interested people more? Yeah, that one.

I get many views but few comments even when I ask a question. In my real life, I'm used to being the one who goes unheard, so it's not particularly new, but man. I don't know. I guess for now I can only be me, and eventually, I'll catch on.

(Late post. I was at a workshop all day yesterday.)

Friday, September 25, 2015

Friday's Express Yourself

Finally. Friday.

I haven't written a THING in some weeks now. I have some ideas bubbling up in my head, and I'm thinking of going back to pencil and paper to put them down. I haven't been on my laptop as much, and when I am, I'm playing games on it. Shifting how I write has always helped, so maybe it's time to do that.

In other news, it's time for Express Yourself!

This meme was created by Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests! They give us a series of questions each month, and we get to answer them and learn more about each other.

This week, they ask: If you could switch bodies with someone for 24 hours (like in Freaky Friday), who would you switch with and why?

Well, today's my little sister's birthday, so I might want to get a lot of presents today. lol And maybe be 29 again. Try to get some bucket list items checked off before 30. ;)

Who would you switch bodies with for a day?

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Relax, I'm On A New Book.

I'm pretty sure I bought this book a year ago now, and I'm finally about to read it. Natalie Whipple, the awesome author of the awesome Transparent books (still waiting for a third, but you know), is also the author of this one, and I can't wait to crack it open.

But first, let's see what's in store for me in this'n. There are 205 pages in the Kindle Edition, and has chosen page 167. Because, you know, it hates me. Let's see if I even remember how to get to the proper location on my Kindle.

"Do you have any tips on how to break the news to Mom?"

He laughed. My father, the ex-Akuma, laughed. Then he shook his head. "A sleeping tigress will be angry no matter how you wake her."

I sighed. Awesome advice.


Reading anything new? What do you think? Have you read any of Natalie's work? I love her.

Friday, September 18, 2015

Fast Five Friday

Happy Friday! Thursday was extremely long, and I wanted to break up with it.

Visit the Cover Girls' Fast Five Friday page to participate. Don't forget to link your post in a comment to them once they post!

Last Friday, they wanted us to list 5 things we're looking forward to in the Fall. Fall's my favorite season, so this should be easy.

1. Cooler weather
2. Pretty leaves all changing color
3. Bonfires
4. S'mores
5. More reasons to drink lattes

Today, they want to know what 5 books we want to see turned into TV shows or movies.

Let me preface this by saying that the first Octavia Butler book I ever read, Dawn, is coming to TV! I'm so excited! Read about it here.

Warning: My list only contains 3 authors. lol

1. Graceling/Fire (movie)
2. Bitterblue (tv)
3. The Inheritance Trilogy (tv, so it can go on and on)
4. A Deep Green Sea (movie)
5. Mr. Spaceman (either, as long as the creators of Futurama do it lol)

What about you? I know some people get mad when Summer's gone, but do you like anything about Autumn? And how about books you'd like to see as movies or tv shows?

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Accidental Wednesday Words: Foreign

I forgot to post yesterday. At least I actually had work to do.

 Yesterday, I started reading Foreign, a self-published space opera by Alitha Martinez, who I met at our local Comic-Con this past..August? I think it was August. Time is flying. Anyway, Alitha started out as a comic illustrator, and she does BEAUTIFUL art. I bought three post-card prints of her characters, and I can't wait to have the space to stand them up. You can read a sample chapter of the above here, and enjoy the tatted man candy line-up behind it. hehe

But now, let me choose a line or two from a random page in the book. There are 133 pages with words on them, so using, we will look at page.....76.

(Pause: Page 73 has one of the prints I bought, a character I haven't met yet named Ricki. Her face is the backdrop of Alitha's homepage, Welcome to Ariotstorm. She's gorgeous! Unpause.)

Glass hulls offered a glimpse into an ideal society where there was no crime or fear; all of the citizens valued their hard-won independence too much to defile it. Every make, model, creed, code, and species lived side by side completely unconcerned with their differences.

Sounds like a utopia.

What are you currently reading? Care to share a line?

Friday, September 11, 2015

Express Yourself + Pitmad News!

Happy end of the week day! lol


I got my first #Pitmad agent/editor favorites! Ack, what a difference a week makes! It's really a confidence booster, and I certainly have to thank my Pitch Warriors on Facebook. It's been a while since I've been part of a community where people are actively helping each other, and I think it's because we're not only writers, but we all needed an esteem boost after Pitch Wars. I know many of the Pitch Warriors received favorites as well!

And now, this week's and last week's Express Yourself questions, brought to you by Dani at Entertaining Interests and Jackie at Bouquet of Books.

Aug. 31- Sept. 4: What scent (candle, fragrance, etc) is your fave during Autumn?

I LOVE the smell of burning firewood in the Fall. It's so relaxing to me, and I tend not to have clear sinuses in the Winter, so I don't get to smell it as often. lol

Sept. 7-11: What is the last text you sent and/or received?

I texted my mom to see if I could borrow her car, but she had fallen asleep, so I walked over to her house lol.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

20 Things

Happy Tuesday! I hope everyone had a good Labor Day. I actually cooked. lol Nothing big, but just enough that there are leftovers. Yay.

So, this will hopefully be the last week I'm reading Cloud City, and I'm working on some #Pitmad pitches. I also joined a Facebook/Twitter group called #PitchWarriors, for those of us who didn't get picked for Pitch Wars. It's been a big mood uplifter and help.

So, to give y'all something more than an update, Heather Holden participated in "20 Things", a blog meme where you answer 20 questions about yourself. So I decided to follow suit. :)

How tall are you?
I am 5'3. Shorty!

Do you have a hidden talent? If so, what?
I like to do voice impressions. I can't do too many, but I try.

What is your biggest blog-related pet peeve?
Super long posts, especially on days like IWSG or A to Z, where they ask people to keep their posts short.

What is your biggest non-blog related pet peeve?
Ignorant people who speak before full understanding something. Or lazy dumb people. If you can help it, be smart. lol

What's your favorite song?
I have too many to name.

What is your favorite ETSY shop?
It's popular enough to have a question? lol

What's your favorite way to spend your free time when you're alone?
I try to do whatever I can because that's literally only one day in my week. But mainly, either play video games or watch movies.

What's your favorite junk food?
Chocolate! Or Pringles. I love Pringles.

Do you have pets?
Not at the moment. I'd love to get another cat or a puppy.

What are your favorite fiction and non-fiction books?
Does a medical dictionary count for non-fiction? I don't read any enough to have a favorite. Fiction, at the moment, N.K. Jemisin's The Broken Kingdoms and Kristin Cashore's Fire.

What is your favorite beauty product?
I don't have one.

When were you last embarrassed?
Oh my God, sit down for this one. So I'm in the Praise & Worship team at my church. We have a group on GroupMe to keep connected throughout the week. One day, I went to Miley Cyrus's Instagram page for some reason, and I saw this hilarious meme with Spongebob's face and a popular Big Sean song. It said UNCENSORED, "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You little stupid a** b****, I don't f*** with you." I copied the link to show my friends on another Groupme account. Later in the day, while on both my phone and laptop, I copied a Google Drive link on my laptop to paste for my cousin in the Praise & Worship GroupMe (I should stop here and say my mom and aunt are also on this team). Forgetting that I had copied the link on my laptop, I hit paste and send on my PHONE, which had the Spongebob Big Sean meme on the clipboard. I. Was. Mortified.

If you could drink one beverage for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Either Yoohoo or Dr. Pepper. I love those drinks.

What's your favorite movie?
Forrest Gump, The Matrix, Amelie, Serenity, The Color Purple, the list goes on.

What were you in high school? Prom queen, nerd, cheerleader, jock, valedictorian, band geek, loner, artist, etc?
I was the quiet writing chorus geek.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Definitely the Grand Cayman Islands. Turtle farms!

PC or Mac?
PC. Mac's okay, but eh.

Last romantic gesture from a crush, date, boyfriend/girlfriend?
An ex-boyfriend recorded a Backstreet Boys performance that happened during a football game for me.

Favorite celeb?
I don't know if I have one, really.

Which blogger do you secretly want to be best friends with?
Heather seems an interesting person, lol. And definitely Mark the Koop man.

We're apparently supposed to tag people, but I'm a rebel, so if you want to answer the questions, you may do so, and let me know that you did, so I can read your answers! =D

Friday, September 4, 2015

7 More Lines and Fast Five Friday

Thank you guys for your encouragement Wednesday as well as your interest Monday! It really made me feel better. I was asked to post more from my WIP, so I thought, "I shall!" I decided to show secondary character Andyrsn breaking up an argument between Cyan and Ghuli, who was disobediently not present in Monday's 7x7x7x7 snippet.

“You’re both stressed. Just calm down.” Cyan paced the floor as Ghuli folded her arms. “Ghuli, I’m sorry, but I have to side with Cyan here.” The look she gave him conveyed a slight betrayal, but he stood firm. “We’re watchmen. I know you want to find this scroll thing, but your safety is more important.”

Ghuli’s scowl melted away, but she drew her knees up and hugged them. “What if finding the Great Scroll is the key to my safety?”

“Have we not been enough so far?” Cyan asked, the strength in his voice making Andyrsn jump, but Ghuli yelled right back.

“You’re not invincible, Cyan. I could lose you, too!” Cyan’s jaw hardened, and a pained look came across his reddening face before he stormed toward the door. “I’m not having this fight with you anymore.”

This week, the Cover Girls would like us to list the 5 books that had us bawling or near tears. These I can put in order from hardest sobs to mistiness. lol

Stephen King's The Green Mile (bawling uncontrollably!)
S.E. Hinton's The Outsiders (bawling)
N.K. Jemisin's The Broken Kingdoms (crying)
Terri Bruce's Thereafter (near tears/inconsolable)
Robert Olen Butler's The Deep Green Sea (near tears)

Any books have you dying of the feels?

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

IWSG: In Need of A Good Day

Happy Wednesday, and Happy September!

As you may know by now, this is the Insecure Writer's Support Group, created by the awesome ninja Alex J. Cavanaugh. You can visit him and also sign on at the group's very own website, Insecure Writer's Support Group dot com. And a big thank you to the ninjas who are visiting us all, as we are in the HUNDREDS.

I'm writing this the night before so I can get it out and read other people's posts today, and while also hoping Wednesday is a better day than Tuesday. First but not first-first. I didn't make the Pitch Wars list. It's a surreal movie feeling as you hear the mentors you picked pick other people and you're counting down thinking, "Okay, four more...Three more...Two..." By the 4th mentor, I'd pretty much lost hope because they had moved onto the mentors who were looking for YA OR NA, but now I guess I'm in that phase of total depression before I pick up my things and keep moving. The least I can hope for is that I'll get feedback in 2 to 4 weeks.

I said it was first but not first-first because by 9am Tuesday, I knew that I no longer wanted to Tuesday. I'm in a job that doesn't challenge me and that I don't want to do anymore, but I'm either over- or under- qualified for every other job out there right now, so I'm basically just sitting at my desk feeling so ADHD that I don't know what to do anymore. I'm also an insomniac, but it only seems to be on weekdays (probably because I hate my job), and by 10am, I'm ready to go to sleep and just don't want to be bothered. That certainly doesn't help.

There was a familial issue that happened actually just before the Pitch Wars video went up that upset me, too, and while I was straining to hear the first 30 minutes of the video because of noisy family members (not related to the aforementioned familial issue), I was kind of hoping just a little bit, that I would be picked. And I slightly blame myself because I said I wasn't doing anymore contests, and I probably shouldn't have because I'm not emotionally built for them in any capacity.

So anyway, here's to a good day.

Monday, August 31, 2015



Another Monday post? What?

This is the other of the two things that I mentioned in my last post that is happening today. I was tagged for the 7x7x7x7 blog post by Adriana Arrington. The basics are that you post 7 lines from your manuscript beginning with the 7th line from your 7th page. Here are more details on her page.

My 7th line starts in the middle of a sentence, soooo...but there's another sentence there, too...bah.

Their rustling was all that carried on the air. Cyan clenched his teeth and sighed.
“I don’t hear her anymore.”
Laris joined him and listened. “She may have wandered off.”
“She was supposed to stay on the road.”
“You know the Princess, my brother.”
“All too well.”
Cyan walked into the forest, leaving the road for the western trees.  

So there you go! :)  See you Wednesday for IWSG.

Big Five, Sign On!


What? Isn't it Monday? Why, yes, yes it is!

There are two things going on today. One is the Twitter push for the Big Five Publishers to be open about their diversity statistics via the Diversity Baseline Survey.

For the original tweet and petition from Lee&Low, click here.
Click here for more information about it from my writing pal SC.

So far, only Macmillan has signed the petition. If you've followed the #WriteInclusively or #WeNeedDiverseBooks hashtags, you'll understand the importance of having a diverse staff controlling what gets published.

As a child, there are only two stories I can remember reading that featured a young black girl. One was a book called Corduroy, about a teddy bear who wants to be sold, but the mother of the little girl who wants him says no because he's missing a button. The little girl is black, and I used to pretend that she was me.

The other book was an American Girl book for Addy, a slave girl in 1864. There have been many American Girls since Addy, but only one other that was a little black girl from 1850*, who wasn't a standalone character and was archived. The majority of the currently active dolls are not only white (6 of the 9), but little blonde girls (4 of the 6). Not only that, they archived Felicity, Kirsten, and Molly! (These were my three favorite girls.) No offense to the other little girls whom I haven't read as I aged out of interest in the stories, but these three were extremely diverse on the surface level alone. Felicity was a redhead who dared to put on pants in the 1770s; Kirsten was a Swedish immigrant; and Molly was the girl-next-door tomboy.

*Reading more on Cécile Rey, the other black American Girl, while I'm sure her character was whimsical, she seemed to be a pretty stereotypical black character. Paraphrase: Confident, curious, and loving the limelight, her lessons bored her, and she wanted to become an actress and loved to party. Hm...

And after 1864, where are the black American Girls? After 1824 where are the other American Girls of Color? Skimming through, I see Julie has a Chinese-American friend whose collection was archived in 2014. Can you imagine the interest the company could generate if they gave us, say, a black American Doll from 1958? Is that too hard a period to write about from that perspective? I know there is a glamorization of the time period because of the fashion and classiness, so maybe they just...I don't know.

And this is why it's important for people to mean what they say when they say they need diverse books. That also means you need to not only have people who advocate for diversity, but people who ARE diverse. They'll see those gems that the majority just might not feel are "right for them." They have a fresh take, a different eye. So I'm hoping the other 4 of the Big 5 will take a stand and follow suit.

Oh, by the way, this is a blog hop, so if you want to join in, scroll back up and click on SC's post to find the LinkyLink. :)

Friday, August 28, 2015

Friday Hops! The Interweb & Year-End Goal

Happy Friday, friends. :)

The countdown is ON! The Mentor/Mentee reveal for Pitch Wars is in 6 days, and I'm so anxious! The Twitter feed has been the solace for both sides of the fence since before the submission window opened, and the hints and non-hints have been killing at least me! Pray for me!

This week, the ladies at Cover Girls would like to know the 5 Websites/Blogs we visit the most!

1. Google
2. Twitter
3. Facebook
4. Blogger

The same ladies host Express Yourself Weekly, and they would like
to know what ONE thing we would like to do before the year is up!

You know, I've been single since 2006...It would be really nice to meet someone this year...Preferably someone with red hair, but at this Not really getting any younger, although apparently the 30s are the new 20s, and I can get down with that.

Have a great weekend!

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Creating a Dynamic by Accident

(No Random Reading today. I'm still reading Cloud City. I blame Pitch Wars. Stalking is busy work.)

This is Cyan and Ghuli, my MC and her 1st Lt. Watchman from my current query and Pitch Wars entry The Crystal Bearer. When I started writing this story 12 years ago (sheesh), as a lover of Final Fantasy games, one dynamic I purposely wanted to maintain was that the action took precedent over whatever romance I had in mind (I had been writing fan fiction romance and YA romance in high school, so that was easier said than done). I stayed very true to that and made sure as my writing sharpened up, I made it make more sense.

No, these two aren't romantically linked, by the way. They're actually adopted brother and sister. Their dynamic was something totally out of left field for me. Draft after draft, their relationship grew into something plausible, something I feel people will actually be able to relate to. Especially adding my "bookends" to the story; it almost created a new story within the story, about how no matter what is going on, and how much fighting they actually do among themselves, their love for each other is so evident.

I wish I had a brother. lol

Friday, August 21, 2015

Pitch Wars Mentee Bio + Friday Hops

This is a special edition of Friday and unfortunately (or fortunately, I guess), not the last you'll be hearing about Pitch Wars from me.

First off, hello! Many (let's be real) Some of you may be here because I tweeted something on the lines of #PitchWars #menteebio and put a link there which led you here. If so, Hello again!

I'm Deborah, Deb for short, Debra Renée for longhand authorship, Write Mage for Magic Tavern and blogger purposes. I started writing as a child in a classroom where they handed us a blank book and said, "Go!", but really, I fell in love with writing because of a little animated series called X-Men, and I've been battling my inner screenwriter ever since.

A little about me: I'm the middle child of three girls, left-handed, born under the sign of Cancer, so I live a complicated and imaginative life. I love music and have nearly perfect pitch. I pretend to play piano, but I'm not all that great. I apparently sit on the cusp of the Type B and C personalities and am known to my friends as having no filter. I'm either very chill or ready to kill. (Sounds like a movie hook.)

So what do you write, No Chill Deb? Well, I have a huge love for YA contemporary stories. They held the trophy for me for several years of my adolescent writing journeys, and I still dabble with them. At the moment, though, I am trying to push a YA Fantasy novel that came to me in a dream and was inspired by my favorite gaming franchise Final Fantasy (when I woke up). I started writing it just before college, so it took about 6 years to write the first draft and another 5 or 6 when I learned all that there was about what happened after you feel your novel is ready. There may be more Fantasy works to come for me, but only time will tell. I have a short speculative story published by Cactus Heart Press under my old pen name Debra McKellan, the biggest thing to happen for me this year, and the link to the e-zine is up above this blog somewhere, where all the tabs are (there's also a sample of my short). To have been recommended to submit was such an honor, and I was even more elated to be picked!

I'm not sure what else to say here...So if you want to stick around for Express Yourself and Fast Five Friday, you can! ;D Every week, two ladies you may or may not know (Dani and Jackie, the Cover Girls) created these hops to get know those of us who follow them, and that they're able to come up with so many questions is magical.

This week for Express Yourself, they asked us what TV or book characters do we relate to?

I'm going to go with TV on this one, and I chose Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls. When the show came out, I believe Rory and I were both sophomores. She was a quiet bookworm with a dream of journalism; I was a quiet bookworm with a dream of being an author. We both have very animated mothers and estranged grandparents (though I think my grandmother is NOTHING compared to Emily). We both had a bit of a bad boy phase, with virtually the same scenario playing out (except Jess got his life together, and I still wish he and Rory will be together in the non-existent GG future). We both took a break, though I took one after high school, and Rory took one during college, dated a douchebag boyfriend, and then graduated successfully. What a ride!

Now, Fast Five Friday (which I always almost spell Fast Frive) is a little quicker (obvs), and the ladies asked us to name our Top 5 Apps. Here are mine in alphabetical order, so I don't lose my mind.

Shattered Pixel Dungeon

Thank you so much for stopping by! Have a great weekend.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Pitch Wars and Random Words from the Jack Taylor Cases

There I was, giving up on watching the one Pitch Wars interview I finally got to watch because my cousin was over, and I happened to be in my email inbox when a Brenda Drake e-mail came through basically saying, "SURPRISE! THE PITCH WARS WINDOW IS OPEN NOW! GO GO GO!"

So, I submitted, and now I wait and stalk and wonder if the mentors I picked were talking about me at any point over the weekend. So nervous! I---ack! Can't talk about it anymore.

Years ago, I read my best friend from high school's debut novel Holiday Hotel (Jack Taylor Cases #1), and after not paying attention to the sequel's release, I saw on Facebook he was coming back to town for a book signing, so I finally bought the second book, Cloud City. I'm 2 years behind; the third book comes out this year, but anyway, if you like MG/YA Mystery and holiday spirits brought to life, you'll love these books.

Using, I will share with you a line from the book. Not sure if this is a good idea when it comes to a mystery; the chances are I'll give something away for myself, but hey, that's what I do.

There are 317 pages with words on them, and Random has chosen page 188, so let me look through...Yep, giving something away possibly. Sigh.

     A little over a minute later he heard another whisper in his right ear wave in and out as if breaking through barriers to get to him.
     ...Toymaker said they were unrecognizable, behind masks...


Friday, August 14, 2015

Friday Hops: Movies and Music

Speaking of hops, has anyone else had the Not Your Father's Rootbeer??? Oh. My. Goodness.

Happy Friday! Today, I bring you my Fast Five, created by the Cover Girls, Dani and Jackie, and Express Yourself Weekly, also created by the Cover Girls, kind of. lol

Fast Five Friday invites you to give 5 quick answers to whatever question that have for the week. This week they ask us to name 5 action packed movies. Easy for me! I love action movies.

1. Lethal Weapon
2. Die Hard
3. Star Trek: Into Darkness
4. The Fast and the Furious
5. The Matrix

Now, I'm not sure if we still sign up for this one, but they have the questions, so I'm gonna answer them! This week, they asked, "What song makes you want to dance as soon as you hear it?"

Hm...I'd have to say any song with a salsa beat. If I hear one, I typically go, "Eyyy!" and bust a move or two.

THREE DAYS left before Pitch Wars opens up. Are you excited?? What about those questions up there? Love a good action movie? Love to dance? :)

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Express Yourself, Pitch Wars, and a New Ending

Happy Tuesday!

I'm still reading Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere, so pray for me. I've less than 100 pages left, and I might not pick up another Gaiman for a while. Anansi Boys was the best for me so far. I could've dealt without the rest. To supplement my Random-reading share, I'm bring you all last week's Express Yourself question!

This bloghop was created by the Cover Girls, Dani @ Entertaining Interests and Jackie at Bouquet of Books. Not unlike Fast Five but more in depth, the ladies ask us a question each week so we can all get to know each other better. And speaking of mentors, last week, the ladies asked us to:

Name 3 people you want to learn something from.

Stevie Wonder - a musical prodigy! I would love to be able to play more instruments.

Stephen King - I need to know why so dark? lol

Joss Whedon - Because Browncoat.

Pitch Wars is now less than a week away, and I culled the mentor list last week, whittled my list down to those who wanted YA-Fantasy, then those who I felt gelled well, and then basically nit-picked until I had 5 mentors I'm ready to introduce to my baby.

Speaking of Writing, an amazing thing happened after I added this new scene that became a whole new chapter for my manuscript...A new ending! I'll admit, I had a lackluster "And they all lived happily ever after" going and didn't like it but wasn't sure what to do with it. But when I added the new opener, it was like a chain reaction happened, and I knew exactly how to end my story! Totally crazy thing to do when I'm talking about submitting to a contest in a week, but the beginning and the end tie in and compliment each other perfectly. They're like bookends in their parallelism, and I'm more than glad they're there now.

What 3 people would you like to learn something from? Are you entering Pitch Wars? Let me know!

Friday, August 7, 2015

Happy Friday!

That moment when you've been on vacation for 2 months and forgot you needed to post today.

That other moment when you decided to change up your schedule and forgot what you're supposed to be posting about today.

Oh, yeah. Hey, y'all!

I'm 66% done culling through the mentors on the Pitch Wars Mentor Blog Hop. I read the first half in one day, and man, my eyes are still weak. There are a LOT of great mentors of all age groups and genres, so if you're interested, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. You can choose 5 mentors, and even that is hard! I mean, there are 100 mentors after all. I'm still claiming that this is my year, and I'm praying that this is the beginning of something great for my story.

Now, onto Fast Five!

This little bloghoplet was created by the Cover Girls, Dani and Jackie, who also bring us Express Yourself Weekly. This week, they would like us to rattle off our 5 favorite couples. If you participate, don't forget to let them know in their comments.

In no particular order, the first five that came to me, (because there are so many more):

1. Katsa and Po (Graceling by Kristin Cashore)
2. Oree and Shiny (The Broken Kingdoms by N.K. Jemisin)
3. Desi and Edna (Mr. Spaceman by Robert Olen Butler)
4. Ben and Tien (A Deep Green Sea by Robert Olen Butler)
5. Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen (A Song of Ice & Fire by George R.R. Martin)

"Wait, wait, wait," you should probably say, because #5 is more of a ship and a hope, but let's pretend, okay?

Let me know if you're participating, too, so I can visit your page!

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

IWSG: Changes

Happy...whoa, *ctrl+B* Happy August! lol Welcome back to the Insecure Writer's Support Group, created by the blogfather himself, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

I went through a few changes for my blog and myself while on my 2-month blogosphere hiatus, and I think it will help refresh my writing energy and query trials.

Blog Schedule. While I was on my hiatus, I returned to express my desire to change my schedule, so I did. After 1st Wednesdays, I'll only be blogging twice a week. This will help me free up some more time for writing and revisions.

Pen Name. You may have noticed (maybe not lol) that my real name is sitting up in that little space by my face now, because I wanted to change my pen name. Partially because I feel like Debra McKellan no longer fits me, despite the awesome reason I chose it in the first place. Partially because I picked it for reasons of neutrality (just like when women writers choose initials because it comes off less female), but in the world of We Need Diverse Books (and all its various social media) and Write Inclusively, I decided I need to be me sans any inclination that I'm someone I'm not.

There's not much about my birth name I'm cool with, to be honest, but nothing else really fits. On Twitter, I expressed that I may just go with my first and middle name (Debra Renée) and went on a spiel from there. Even wrote out my signature to see if I like it (I love it). So, I believe that will be it. Of course, now when I list publications, I'll have to say "Origin" was published under Debra McKellan, but well, I believe other people have done that before. Blah. Still stoked that it was published.

An Opening that Hooks an Agent. I expressed just yesterday that I planned on adding a new scene to my opening. I basically added a whole new chapter from bits I mention later in the story and a short prequel that may or may not ever see daylight. I'm hoping this new opening will wow more than my previous opening so I can stop getting depressed when I check my inbox. Two agents I was pretty nervous about querying and finally did passed. That hurts.

It is now midnight, and I said I would be going to bed 2 hours ago. Fail. Have a happy IWSG Day!

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Pitch Wars and Random Words from Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere

(Futurama - Bender "I'm Back, Baby.")

(Smooth McGroove: Final Fantasy VII Victory Fanfare A Capella)

I hope everyone is having a good summer and had a great June and July. I enjoyed my break, but I was itching to get back to blogging (hence my random blog in the middle of my break). And [in my Bill Nighy Viktor voice:] we have much to discuss...Selene and I.

Pitch Wars is around the corner! I believe I participated last year, because it was a label in my list of labels. The blog-hop of all of the participating mentors went up yesterday over at Brenda Drake's blog. You can research all of them and ask questions on Twitter via the hashtag #askmentor (I just learned you can link Twitter searches). I hope to get picked so I can see if a mentor is thinking what I'm thinking about changing my opening. I'm almost sure I need to, but I want to make sure.

On that note, I think I do because the agents I've queried aren't wowed by my opening. In my first drafts, I began in the thick of the action and received critiques asking, "But who are these people?" So, I added an opening scene showing who the people were, but I guess the calm before the storm is failing at the moment. If I make it, I definitely know what scene will be the new opening.

So that's what I'm doing with my writing. Now...

What am I reading? First off, I reached my goal of 20 books read this year! Many of them were graphic novels, but if I keep going, I might reach 30!

That being said, I'm trudging my way through Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere. I don't know why. It might not just interest me the way I thought it would, and it was a spur of the moment pick-up in the library. All of the books I bought at random waiting on my Kindle have a right to be mad.

Anyway, I'll still be using to show you all a line of my current read. There are 337 pages in Neverwhere, and Random has chosen page 126. I won't be randomly picking the line anymore. I'm returning myself the freedom to pick that myself. So here's a little bit from page 126.

There was a faraway screaming noise, thin and mindless, like an idiot child deprived of its toy. The smoke-tentacle let go of Richard's ankle and slid back over the edge of the platform, and it was gone.

Reading anything good right now? Are you thinking of entering Pitch Wars? Let us know if you're a mentor! See you tomorrow for IWSG!

Monday, July 6, 2015

I'm Brainstorming Some Things

I know I said I'd be taking a break in July, too, but this is the only place where I can get my thoughts out in more than 150 words, so I thought I'd drop by to think.

My Blog:
I want to revamp my blog topics. My current schedule is:
Tuesdays (blog hop)
Wednesdays (what I'm reading/IWSG)
Fridays (blog hop/potpurri).

I might condense it to:
Tuesdays (what I'm reading/something writing related)
First Wednesdays (IWSG)
Fridays (blog hops/something writing related)

So then I'd only be writing twice a week and thrice on that first week, and having more content on less days might keep my mind open to my writing.

My Pen Name:
So, I have this issue where after a certain amount of time, I want a new e-mail address. I never thought that I would be looking at my pen name and thinking, "Do I still like this name?" Especially after all the brainstorming I went through just to get to this name!

Maybe, I'll use different pen names for different genres. Speculative, this name. Contemporary, maybe my own name. I hate my name, though. It's so boring. I'd use my mom's maiden name if she hadn't "not" named me after my aunt. I'd rather not add to the confusion. For poetry, I almost committed myself to S.B. Hawkins (a lady at church calls me Songbird, and I love that), but something in my head said, "Isn't there a Sophie B. Hawkins?" There is, and why do I know that? (Googling, Googling...Oh, right. "As I Lay Me Down").

My Unofficial Sequel & My one Beta:
My little sister has been my one steady beta reader since like 1994. I couldn't get her to read my Fantasy, but she made a deal to read my unofficial sequel to Octavia Butler's Fledgling, which I named Birthright. Honestly, I thought she had forgotten to read it, and I was losing faith, but out of the blue this weekend while we were sitting on the couch at 1 a.m, she said, "So, I have questions about Ruby [the original name for it]." I was bursting with glee that she had actually begun reading it. She's halfway through (it's a novella, only 100 pages), but she noted some good things that I need to fix, one of which being (and as someone who reads sequels sometimes before I read the first book, it's very important) that I have to consider the fact that the reader may not have read Fledgling, so things I left out that I knew because they were explained in Fledgling, I have to explain in Birthright.

I'm just glad she started reading it. Now, I'll have to go through and flesh it out more so I can start the process of finding out from whom to get permission to actually publish it.

So that's it. See you later!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

IWSG: Enjoying This Break


I'm writing this on Tuesday night with a little bit of red wine in me, so I don't have much energy for my normal greetings. I will say thank you to Alex J. Cavanaugh and co-hosts because they deserve it.

I decided at the end of May that I wanted to take a break in June. July was also on my mind, and to be honest, I'm for it. I know blogging is good to build networks etc., but it's exhausting and sometimes tedious to me. I have actually written a LOT this past month, and I feel like a lot of it is BECAUSE I haven't been blogging.

I'm also back to querying agents. One said she was drawn by my query but not hooked by my first pages, so I know if I get the same sentiments from the next couple of agents, I need to do something about those first pages...AGAIN. I have friends getting their songs on tv shows, other friends getting into the careers they want. My cousin is finally branching out and doing solo performances at churches. I'd really like to be one of the successes soon. This life of working jobs I don't love just to get by is draining my soul.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015


FFXII's Sorbet says:
Well, not really, but I'm taking a blogging break this month. See you in July!

Friday, May 29, 2015

Fast Five Friday: Cartoons

Happy Friday!

What is it about 4-day work weeks that feel like an ETERNITY??

Anyway, the Cover Girls, Dani and Jax, came up with this fun quickfire bloghop that gets us to share 5 things of their choosing. This week it is 5 Childhood Cartoons.

The first of my fave five is the reason I became a writer. The next two made me love fantastical settings. The next are just...what's not to love?!

1. X-Men
2. David the Gnome
3. The Smurfs
4. Doug
5. Gummy Bears

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Wednesday Words: Fire

Happy Hump Day!

It feels like a Tuesday, but thankfully, it's not one!

I have finally moved onto Fire, by Kristin Cashore, which I bought immediately after reading Graceling, the first book in the series. This world so far is surprisingly different than Katsa's on the other side of the mountains: there are MONSTERS over here! By monsters, I mean animals and people who are weird colors and can persuade you with their minds. Yeesh. I can't wait to see how this ties in with King Leck from Graceling, though I sort of see it. I also really like Fire and her best frenefit (lol) Archer, though he's a little dense sometimes.

(Side note: having posted the cover, I now see there's a face on it. I must not have stopped to look at my actual book.)

Alright, to the point. On Wednesdays, I use to share with you a piece of what I'm reading, so let's get into it. There are 461 pages in Fire. Let's see what Random chooses.

Page...................................................148. Ooh, I'm almost there.

Hey, the beginning of a chapter! There are approximately 21 lines on this page, so let's see what we'll be reading.


No. Cansrel's mind was strong as a bear and hard as the steel of a trap, and every time she left it, it slammed back into place behind her.

Fire's father was a very scary man, and I'm pretty sure I know how he "killed himself."

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Express Yourself: Eating While Writing?

Happy Tuesday!

Today is the day I answer the questions given to us by the ladies who created Express Yourself: Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests. This week, they would like us to:

Name a few things we like to eat while writing.

Well, to be honest, I don't have any writing snacks. Is it just me? If I get hungry, I usually just eat whatever is available. I don't have a particular food I crave in my time of writing.

Well, that was anti-climactic. See you tomorrow!

Friday, May 22, 2015

Friday Freeday: June Hiatus

Good morning!

I've decided to take a break from blogging next month, possibly July, too, but I'll see when I get closer to it. A part of me wants to do a little more with the blog, definitely a little more towards writing. I'll most likely incorporate them into the posts I already have, which means making longer posts, but hey.

Everyone have a good Memorial Day weekend, and remember those who died to protect the freedom of others!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Wednesday Words: Defiance

Happy Hump Day!

Wednesdays are the days I usually set aside to share with everyone what I'm reading by using to help me out. This week, I'm reading one of my "competition" books based on one of the lit agency's requirements to list books mine would compete against.

Defiance, by C.J. Redwine.

It's interesting so far, a weird juxtaposition of medieval values and modern nomenclature. Rachel Adams and her Protector, Logan McEntire, are somehow going to escape the tyrannical police-state in which they live to find her father Jared, who never came back from a courier mission. Mayhem and secrets ensue. Hopefully I can check it out again when the Kindle version disappears back to my digital library. I was reading something else when it became available, so I haven't gotten too far, and it's due in 2 days. (Hey, I successfully placed it on hold again, so that should solve that.)

Anyway, there are 416 pages in the Kindle edition. has chosen page...............344.

Geez. That's 82.7% of the way in, so I have a feeling I'm about to spoil it for myself. But that's the nature of this game!

There are approximately 19 lines on this page, so Random has chosen line....................18.

The Cursed One roars and coils itself to strike again.

I knew they would eventually stumble upon this thing, so I can't wait to see what it looks like.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Express Yourself Weekly: My Weird BFF

Throwback...on a Tuesday! lol It's time for Express Yourself, created by Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests. These ladies bring us fun questions to answer weekly, and we're happy to oblige.

This week, they would like to know what quirks our best friends have that we adore.

Hm...trying to think if I like their quirks. lol

My best friend/cousin Candyce must know what happens at the end of books and movies. lol I'm not the kind of person who doesn't tell you if you ask, so I always answer her if we're watching a movie I've seen.

My best friend/sister Andréa likes to make random noises out of the blue. Just chilling, and then suddenly, high note for no reason.

They're both very silly.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Friday Freeday

Friday Feels:

1. So, I can't even cross my arms today. I feel so exposed lol Yesterday was our Employee Recognition, and I played five games of volleyball. I knew the risks by my first dive to the ground. They should start a volleyball league at work, though. I had so much fun.

2. Time has a "What would your name be today" quiz. Deborah was the 182nd most popular name in 1984 (does it even count as popular then?). Today's 182nd most popular name is Michelle. Yeesh. I'm so not a Michelle. No offense, Michelles.

3. When I tried to Swype Deborah, it gave me Debussy first. I am now in love with this name and will name a boy this.

4. Still contemplating naming a girl Deborah and calling her Rory.

5. Wawa's idea of a bacon omelette is making the omelette and then putting the bacon on top. They're whack, but it was still bomb. Even when they're wrong, they're right.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Thursday Thoughts: Express Yourself Weekly

Hello again!

I am doing another Thursday Thoughts to catch up on the Express Yourself bloghop that is back in action! Visit the creators, Dani @ Entertaining Interests and Jackie @ Bouquet of Books to see their answers, join the hop, and visit others who participate.

Last week, the ladies said: Tell us about something you haven't tried yet, but would like to.

I have yet to skinny dip. I'd like to. lol

This week, they said: We are 1/3 of the way through the year. Name something you have achieved thus far.

Well, I was published. So there's that. *dances* I will be mentioning that until my next publication happens. lol I also started querying again after a long bout of doubt and revisions. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for me. :)

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Wednesday Words: Cassafire

Happy Wednesday!

I feel like I haven't done a Wednesday Words in weeks! These are the days where I use to share with my followers what it is I am reading.

Last week I started Cassafire by the Captain and Sensei of many of us bloggers: Alex J. Cavanaugh.

"But wait," you should probably say, "I've been following your Wednesday Words for a while. When did you read Cassastar?"

Well, what had happened There was a promotion happening where the Kindle edition of Cassafire was on sale for like $0.99, so I bought it to try it out. I don't read much Science Fiction, so if I didn't like it, at least it wasn't hard on my wallet.

And on that note, I actually like it! I really like Byron. Part of him reminds me of Gibbs on NCIS, but I can't wait to read Cassastar now. I wonder how different he was as a probie pilot.

Now, there are 240 pages in the Kindle Edition, so using, let's see what page we'll be 73.

That is 30% in at location 1230 based on my Kindle.

There are approximately 16 lines on page 73, so Random has chosen...................................line 7.

A surge of power flowed through his mind. The valley vanished, replaced by a view of the city.

Psychic teleportation! (<---Since when is that not a word?) I was intrigued when I first read Byron doing something of a psychic nature, and I'm guessing more about the Cassans and their abilities is explained in the first book, so I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Friday Freeday Rant

So, I need to get motivated to DO. That's it. Just do.

There was a time when I would be constantly reading, constantly writing. A part of me is wondering am I supposed to be doing something else? Or am I subconsciously depressed or losing hope? I've been at writing for over 20 years now, and I know I had goals for myself and that sometimes those aren't what meant to be, but yeesh.

And am I scared of rejection on my fantasy novel which I'm 99.999% sure is finally polished enough to throw out there? I mean, I've already put it out there to two of my choices. I'm definitely kind of scared to do contests again. Even though I didn't realize how unfinished my story was when I entered before, I'm not sure I want to enter it again. It's too much on my psyche, and I'm not one who will ever grow that fabled thick skin I keep hearing about.

No one at home asks about my writing anymore. They were really excited about my short story publication, but other than that, nothing. They've all got their own things happening, and I feel like I'm getting left behind. My older sister keeps getting jobs she wants. My little sister was promoted like 8 times in the span of a year. I'm just here floating, bored to death in a part-time job that barely pays the bills, looking for less boring jobs that will pay my bills twice over, but hoping this won't always be my life.

Okay, so maybe I'm consciously depressed and losing hope, which is whack because last year, I was toting and chanting that 2015 was going to be my year. It's not even the middle of the year yet, and I've lost that zeal. I thought this was supposed to happen during the winter seasons. Blah.

Where's Tony Little to scream, "You can do it?!" in my ear?