Thursday Thoughts: Express Yourself Weekly

Hello again!

I am doing another Thursday Thoughts to catch up on the Express Yourself bloghop that is back in action! Visit the creators, Dani @ Entertaining Interests and Jackie @ Bouquet of Books to see their answers, join the hop, and visit others who participate.

Last week, the ladies said: Tell us about something you haven't tried yet, but would like to.

I have yet to skinny dip. I'd like to. lol

This week, they said: We are 1/3 of the way through the year. Name something you have achieved thus far.

Well, I was published. So there's that. *dances* I will be mentioning that until my next publication happens. lol I also started querying again after a long bout of doubt and revisions. I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store for me. :)

Friday Freeday: Writer Because of TV?

Happy Friday!

SO, as I was reading another lady's blog for Express Yourself (Melissa over at My Creatively Random Life), I realized something.

Most writers say, "I read this, and I knew then that I wanted to be a writer."

As some of you know, the first real story I started writing was about mutants living in a school. Why? Because I was watching X-Men. I'm almost sure this isn't normal, and nowadays, I think that I probably should've stayed in Writing for Film/TV, because even though books make me want to write, my first passion happened because of a tv show. Also, still to this day, I'll watch something and think to myself, "I can't wait to have my own movie!"

I love acting out scenes to myself (which if anyone walked in on me throwing myself on the floor and crying for no real reason, I'd be thrown on the altar), and I still really want to be published. I also want very much to have a small screen or big screen notch on my belt.

I really hope both happen.

IWSG - This is Your Life!

I definitely almost forgot. Happy IWSG Day!

The Insecure Writer's Support Group was created long ago in a galaxy far, far away by a ninja named Alex J. Cavanaugh. hehe Visit his page and group website for the hosts and to visit or join the other group members.

I turn 30 in 17 days! That said, I had many goals and milestones throughout my life so far, so I thought I'd lay them out today so we can all look at them and laugh. lol

At age 5: I decided I wanted to have kids. O.o

At age 7: I wanted to be a firefighter, not in the future, but while I was 7. Go to school in the morning and fight fires by night. (So apparently, I wanted to be a superhero).

Also at age 7: I asked my Mom if I could go to Disney World, and she said "Some day."

At age 8: I wrote my first X-men based picture book. I also decided I wanted to be a writer and illustrator.

At age 9: I wrote my first song. It was about playing out in the field, and it was called "Out in the Field".

At 11: I decided I wanted to write horror. I'd seen Stephen King's It 11 times and was inspired.

At age 13: I had my first life-crisis because I was now a teenager. I also wrote my first contemporary fiction based off of The Outsiders.

At age 14: I started writing Backstreet Boys fan-fiction, some of which I adapted into my first short stories.

At age 17: I sang with my sister at a Talent Show, got rave reception, and decided I wanted to try to be a pop singer.

At age 18: I decided I didn't want to go to college and wanted to pursue singing. I also had the dream that became the then-opening scene to my fantasy WIP.

At age 19: I went to the University of the Arts' Summer Program for illustration, preparing to go to college.

At age 20: I submitted the first pages of my fantasy story to UArts' Writing for Film & TV program and went to college.

At age 24: I graduated from college! lol

As you can see, I didn't become a pop star lol, but I think I am finally ready to query that story. I can't wait to see what the next 30 years will have in store, but for now, I'll keep counting down the next 17 days. :) Also, still haven't been to Disney World. >:(

Friday Freeday: Aims

Good evening!

A very late blog today. I had a very nice first week at work, snow day aside. I love waking up knowing I have a real job, thank you, Jesus. My boss even said she wants to put my creative writing to use for their weekly reports! I'm so honored.

I'm part of the Spec Fic Group at AgentQueryConnect, and one of the posts this week was called Aims, and we all posted things we wanted to get done this week. I said I wanted to actively seek beta readers. So this week, I joined Deviant Art's Beta Readers section! I'm about to go now to see if I have any hits, and look at the beta reader profiles. I'm still excited about this, and I don't want to ever give up on becoming an author.

Wish me luck! Have a good weekend.

IWSG: Why I Must Succeed

Hello!

I'm writing this a day early, so I don't know who the helpers are this month, but THANK YOU for visiting us all, and as always, a big "DOMO AMARIGATO!" to our Sensei, Ninja Alex J. Cavanaugh, for creating this support system. You can now also visit the Insecure Writers Support Group page to view and/or join us!

Now, my semi-dramatic topic. Over the past couple of weeks, I've realized a few things:

1) If I never get published, I may never be completely happy.

2a) (Thanks to a Parenthood episode) I didn't acquire any other marketable skills besides writing and singing, so the chances I'll be doing anything else but deskwork increase astronomically the longer I don't push myself. 2b) I really need to push myself to get this done. It's scary, and you're about as vulnerable as you're going to get when you put yourself out there, but I have to do it!

and 3) I'd rather not end up like my mom's older brother, who is near 60 but has chased pipe dreams most of his life, bless his heart. I come from a very arts-inclined family. My great-uncle is the only one I know who actually sells his artwork. The rest of the singers, dancers, writers, and artists in my family have basically gone down the "What-if" path, and I'd rather not.

So with that said, I'm going to do my best to succeed this year. This year is a stretch, but it's just now February, so I have faith. lol

Express Yourself: Goals

Welcome to Express Yourself, the weekly meme brought to us by Dani @ Entertaining Interests and Jackie @ Bouquet of Books. This week's question is about what goals we have for ourselves this month.

I plan to (weather permitting) get out of the house this month. It's exceedingly hard when you don't have a car, but I need to get out. Most of the time, I see nothing but my house, my church, and my work, and I need a LIFE.

A bigger goal for myself this month is I want to try to obtain beta readers for a tribute novella I wrote last year based on Octavia Butler's Fledgling. I really loved that story, and I put a lot of research into it when I wrote the novella Ruby. I think it might have the makings of my first novel(la). I was thinking about this last night, and writers have said sometimes their first work isn't their first published, so while I'm not particularly certain, I want to see how this goes, as it's my second finished WIP.

SO there you have it! More to come on this tomorrow, actually, and be sure to visit the other participants! Oh! That is another one of my goals: to visit my followers and more bloghoppers to whom I'm connected. I've already started that one! :)

Express Yourself - Reflections

For some reason, Mariah Carey's "Reflections" comes into my head when I think of Self Reflection, so here, enjoy one of the saddest songs in the world.

Welcome back to Express Yourself! Brought to us by the dynamic duo, Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests.

The question this week is an interesting one, and I just copy and pasted over it. *sigh, goes back to Dani's page* Here it is. lol

Is there anything you'd like to change, or work on, about yourself this year?

One thing I keep failing to maintain is my weight, so I would really like to get in shape this year and stay that way. I'm getting to an age where I don't have the drive to do it, but I will be forcing myself this year.

Less superficial, I would like to find a balance between my passiveness and my outspokenness. They're both reflections of the shy, aim-to-please girl I was when I first moved to Delaware and how I was when I decided I wasn't going to care about what people thought as long as I spoke my piece. There must be a happy medium in there.

I also want to get out of this house. I'm such a hermit, and that's a family trait that's been passed down, and I need to go ahead and break that so I can meet people.

The Last of the 20s

That should be a book title, no?

So, since my birthday is tomorrow, I have a 2-day birthday celebration planned, and I can't WAIT!

But since I have to, and it's Thursday, I thought I would look back on the things I have and haven't accomplished per my *ahem* plans in the past.

When I was a little girl, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be 16.
Tomorrow I'll clearly be 13 years past 16, and it's crazy to me sometimes. I still feel at most 18.

I started writing when I was 7 years old and at 12 decided that I wanted to be an author.
While I had a lot of trial novels and series stowed away, I'm currently on my 4th or 5th revision of the novel I would love to be my debut novel.

At 25, I said I had a 5-year-plan to be out of my mom's house.
Ironically, my mom moved to a 55+ apartment complex this year, so technically I accomplished that.

I'm just going to stop here because I've already mentioned my marriage and babies dreams that aren't yet, well, happening. I suppose there's still time. :)

How about you guys 29+? Are there/were there any goals you had in your earlier years?

IWSG: Dreams and Well Wishes

Thank you, Alex, Tyrean, and Mitrhil!

Welcome to 2013! The world didn't end (and the Mayans didn't say it would, but people like to say that someone other than themselves were wrong, so whatever), and we saw yet another year where we're supposed to be flying around like the Jetsons and only just now have electric cars.

But at any rate, for those who don't know, the Insecure Writer's Support Group was founded by a ninja named Alex who makes you feel like you can take on the world just by blogging! The link up there will take you to a list of many other writers who come together once a month to vent their insecurities and/or kick them in the face for a month of relief and productivity.

With that said, welcome to another year where we as writers get to try again. By now, we may know the "rules", the definitive do's and don't's of writing, but we have also learned to learn what works for us because writers aren't made from cookie cutters. We're all different. We all have our own unique view of whatever worlds we have decided to type up or scribble down. We have tried to mold ourselves into another writer, one someone else has said or one even we ourselves may think is better than who we really are. Hopefully, we've gotten over that in 2012 because now we're in 2013!

May 2013 be a year of clear thinking, minimal procrastinating, and lots and lots of writing. Hopefully, we finished that one manuscript in 2012. Hopefully, we slaved over and succeeded in (sort of) mastering its GOD AWFUL QUERY (I didn't). If not, we can always try again. A few of our writer friends succeeded in getting published in 2012! Hopefully, 2013 will be our year to, you know, at least pick up an agent.

I say all of this in the third person to encourage myself as well as everyone else who had high hopes 366 days ago and acquired the lowest of doubts by the time they reached 2 days ago. Doubt is the greatest enemy of anyone with a dream, and I say let's dare to dream bigger this year! And if doubt tries to sneak in, we'll punch it in the face and lock the door to whatever receptor it found vulnerable.

You can be the best!!! (Sarah Braverman, Parenthood)

Hey, this is my 50th Entry!!!

What I Need & Need to Do

Okay, so if you look at my post timeline, it's like 1st day...Same day...2nd day...Three weeks later...Same day...Two weeks later...3rd day. lol I want to regulate that. No, I don't want to post three times a week (geez, kudos to you who do that!). I would like to post at least once a week, though. So, I'm going to try to look through some blog-writer themes to give myself something to do each week. So far, the first Wednesday of each month is the Insecure Writers Group meeting, which I missed last month, but here's to hoping I get that right from here on out!

I'm also going to try to visit AgentQueryConnect more consistently. They're a big help over there, and I like the sense of community with writers all around the country (world? is it international?).

Another thing is, I need beta readers. I remember there being a site for this, and I don't remember what it's called. I might even have it bookmarked. I had someone lined up as a crit partner and never heard from her again, so...yeah. I can e-mail the one beta reader I had, but I know she's busy, so the chances she's gotten to stop and read may be slim. So I'll be trying to advertise a little more to drum up interest.

Here's hoping. :)

That is it for now.

*SIGH* Oh, NaNoWriMo...

I think I failed last year. lol I don't even know what I was trying to work on last year!

I know this about myself but tend to forget this about myself that I'm a short story writer. I've so far gotten a novel out of myself by happenstance and vision. So I realized the story I started to work on for NaNo this month wasn't going to be a 50k piece by Day 3. I actually surpassed the 1,667 word a day for Days 1 & 2, for which I was proud!

However, that was all she wrote (literally).

Had I had thought ahead, I would've probably started that Middle Grade fantasy I've been talking about since I mentioned it, oh, I don't know, 7 years ago? But I have extreme blinders on. Maybe I'll still try to work on it this month. I feel that it definitely needs an outline, though. Can't pants this one.

I will keep you all posted.

(For my AQC readers: The seed is strong. ????)

The Next Big Thing (Week 23)

I was asked by the awesome Aaron Bradford Starr to participate in the tradition of So You Think You Can Write a Novel: The Next Big Thing edition. It was a great honor, and I don't think I've done a Q&A about the novel I'm currently querying and have thrown into the trenches for the New Visions Writers Award Contest. *prays*

In the Q&A, we share what possessed us to write these novels. lol I'm almost sure mine are weird, if not a little different, so I'll dive right on in.

1- What is the working title of your book?
Save the Queen.

2- Where did the idea come from for the book?
It actually started with a very elaborate dream I had, and since either most of my dreams don't make much sense and/or I'm not that great at oratorilly telling my dreams to people, I wrote this one down so I could show my sister. Part of the dream became the opening sequence to the story, and another part of it was usable for a later chase scene.

3- What genre does your book fall under?
Young Adult Fantasy.

4- Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
This is the trickiest question for me, because I started this story when I was 18 or 19. At the time, I knew I wanted Zoe Saldaña to play a supporting character. I've unfortunately made that character younger at this point. As I got older, I wanted Jodelle Ferland to be the main character with Kristin Kreuk as her mother, but then I decided to make my main character black, so that went out of the window, too. I haven't even homed in on any male actors yet.

So long story short, I have no idea who would be playing my characters in a movie rendition.

5- What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?
The princess of a dead race and her watchmen journey to defeat a vengeful spirit from the future.

6- Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
I would prefer an agency. I want to be certain there are people out there who can see my vision, and throwing it out to the wolves on my own--there's no guarantee either way, but at least if I find an agency who believes in my story, I'm one step closer to knowing there are others who will, too.

7- How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?
The short answer is 8 years, 4 of which I was in school. I also edit and proofread while I write. A bad habit, I know, but I'm an English major.

8- What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?
The voice and character atmosphere is very similar to that of The Enduring Flame trilogy by Mercedes Lackey and James Mallory. I was very fortunate to stumble onto these books last year. There's a formality/Olde English-y mixed with familiar/today language that I feel both my and their stories possess so that you get a little of both worlds. The series was also pretty dark, not even underneath it all, it was overcast. As you get deeper into my story, I feel the same thing happens. There was some truly dark stuff going on that the world had forgotten about or just didn't know about, which is why the story is happening.

9- Who or What inspired you to write this book?
I took a year off after high school because I didn't want to go to college. Since I couldn't find a job, I played Final Fantasy IX and X just about every day. I realized I wanted to write a story as if the story from a Final Fantasy game, that obviously hadn't been created yet, was adapted into a book. Like how they made The Spirits Within. It wasn't a movie adapted from one of the games, but it had the same elements of a Final Fantasy video game. I wanted to write a book in the same way. My working title is even a weapon in many of the games.

10- What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
Well, if they like FF games, see #9. lol Otherwise, it's on the shorter side of an epic tale. My goal was to write a short fantasy. You get what you want, not what you'd rather skim over. I don't have the attention span to drag things out, and as a reader, I know how frustrating it is when you want to get to the point, but it's 50 pages away. Someone (don't know who) once said to write your novel so that there would be nothing to edit out in the movie adaptation, and that was how I wrote it. There's no filler. It's just the story.

Next week, November 14th, tune in to SC Author's and Revo Boulanger's blogs for another edition of The Next Big Thing.

My non-writing aspirations

I come from a musical family. We love to write, but we also sing and dance, sometimes act (not as much). I graduated high school with the naive idea that I would move down to Florida to become a pop star. No money, no job, and barely any stage presence really. I gave that up within the year and went to college, thank God.

This year, I decided to set in stone a couple of things:

1) compose Praise & Worship songs. I'm a Baptist and in my church's young adult choir and Praise & Worship team. Unfortunately, my vocal prowess isn't all that cued up to Baptist gospel, and I have a passion for more Presbyterian/Non-Denominational worship music, ie. Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, Kari Jobe. I've written a few songs so far, and I plan to have a guitar by Christmas so I can compose and record.

2) audition for Cirque du Soleil. I loved watching the shows on tv, and when I went into a Summer Program before my Freshman year of college, I got to go see Alegria. My glasses broke that very day, and sitting in row R meant the performers were ants, but the chills I got when the Mezzo singer hit her first bars made me fall in love with the show. I'm currently getting in shape and rehearsing three audition pieces from their job site. I've even gotten my sister to do it with me.

So that's that. lol I don't know what either has in store for me, but I'm two years from 30, and since my other personal goals failed, I'd like to say I did something big with my life when I look back on it.

Meanwhile, I'm still writing and querying, so all of my eggs are spread, and we'll see what hatches.

Distracted

Can I express how utterly and totally distracted I am right now!?

I'm sitting at my desk at work on a day where I actually HAVE work to do, and all I want to do is blog and brainstorm and revamp my blog to accommodate my smaller works. I enjoy this job, and I love how laid back it is (I'm in the Office of Directors, but still, these people are SO chill), but--and they said I was going to be--I'm BORED.

Not bored as in "this is a boring job," but bored as in, "This is NOT my job." I said from jump (from jump I mean, like, when I was 12. Excuse my lingo and grammar right now, too, I'm in my Deborah-rant-zone, and I do run-on sentences when I'm ranting) that writing was going to be my full-time job. People have told me it's a hobby, and I won't be able to get by on just writing, and I know a lot of people have day jobs because writing isn't all that sustaining, but I want to dream bigger than the logical and the typical.

I want to be a bestselling author. I want to write the screenplay when they (whoever they are) ask to adapt my book. I want to sit in the Executive Director's chair and yell "CUT, do it this way! This is the vision!" I want to be at the Editor's side because for the love of GOD LOTR and King Kong were TOO LONG and some scenes from LOTR that didn't make it into the final cut needed to be in the final cut, because I notice when things aren't resolved. Geez, I've heard it said Stephen King pops up in a lot of his movies now because he hated how The Shining was done! I can be there if I say I need to be there!

Breathe. One. Two.

Okay. I'm calmish.

I'm 28 years old. I had dreams of marriage and my second child by now. So now that that's gone to pot, I still remember that when I was 21, I said in 10 years I'd have a book published and some other stuff that I've forgotten (it was 7 years ago after all). This process, the editing, the revisions, the queries, the critiques, is putting me on that goal, so I hope I see it soon.

In the meantime, I'm going to be finding something more MY job to do with my time while that happens. I'm not quitting my job, by any means, but I'm definitely looking at my other options. I'm the least normal person I know (which often sucks), and I want a life that reflects all of who I am.

Nervous breakdown over. It came 2 years too soon, so I'm going to have a great 30th birthday. I claim that now, Jesus.

Back to work.