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I'm Deborah. I'm a writer, currently seeking representation/publication for my YA Fantasy Fractured Princess

I love to play Final Fantasy games and Shattered Pixel Dungeon. I also enjoy the many ins and outs of music (I'm a chorus geek).

Friday, March 20, 2015

Friday Freeday: Insecurities

First day of Spring, and it's snowing in Delaware.

Good morning! This is actually a bit of an insecurity post, and I needed somewhere to vent, so what better place?

Since I graduated college and didn't get that dream job they kind of tell you're going to get by the end of the 4-or-so years, I've basically done dead-end jobs. Data entry, customer service, clerical stuff, and living in central Delaware, the pay is fairly bad. I thought by now things would get better, but 7 years later, and I'm still working check to check and skipping bills.

It gets kind of depressing, and I've realized I'm stuck in this rut where it's starting to affect my mindset even with my writing. What if I don't get published? What if I've always been living in a dream and am kidding myself? What if I don't have a best seller? Etc. etc.

Things spiral from there, so while I'm trying to make a living, I'd like at LEAST one year where I can just LIVE. It's definitely one of those days where I think on all the different paths I should've taken so that I'm not stuck in this funk, but...can't do that.

So pray for me.


  1. *hugs* I can relate a lot to this insecurity. I'm always worrying about my future since I've yet to land a job of any kind, and any commissions I get are few and far between. Sorry you feel stuck living check-to-check and are depressed as a result. Hope you're able to get that year to just live eventually! *fingers crossed*

  2. Praying! I get in these ruts too, and it can be hard to get back in a better mind frame. But you can do it! And we will reach the dream of publication one day. *fist bump*


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