First day of Spring, and it's snowing in Delaware.
Good morning! This is actually a bit of an insecurity post, and I needed somewhere to vent, so what better place?
Since I graduated college and didn't get that dream job they kind of tell you're going to get by the end of the 4-or-so years, I've basically done dead-end jobs. Data entry, customer service, clerical stuff, and living in central Delaware, the pay is fairly bad. I thought by now things would get better, but 7 years later, and I'm still working check to check and skipping bills.
It gets kind of depressing, and I've realized I'm stuck in this rut where it's starting to affect my mindset even with my writing. What if I don't get published? What if I've always been living in a dream and am kidding myself? What if I don't have a best seller? Etc. etc.
Things spiral from there, so while I'm trying to make a living, I'd like at LEAST one year where I can just LIVE. It's definitely one of those days where I think on all the different paths I should've taken so that I'm not stuck in this funk, but...can't do that.
So pray for me.
Greetings
- Debra Renée Byrd
- Delaware, United States
- Deborah Hawkins, penned Debra Renée Byrd, began writing after a blank book project in elementary school and never stopped, fashioning stories based on her favorite TV shows and movies before creating more original works. She studied at the University of the Arts and Florida State University before settling down and graduating from Temple University. She now resides in her hometown of Dover, DE, where she spends most of her time at work or at church. She loves fantasies, superheroes, is a trekkie and a brown coat. She loves television and lives for Final Fantasy video games, having collected most of them. She has read a myriad of authors, and her favorite authors change whenever she finds a new book that changes her life... "When you can't run, you crawl. When you can't crawl...well, you know the rest." -Tracey, Firefly, "The Message"
2 comments:
*hugs* I can relate a lot to this insecurity. I'm always worrying about my future since I've yet to land a job of any kind, and any commissions I get are few and far between. Sorry you feel stuck living check-to-check and are depressed as a result. Hope you're able to get that year to just live eventually! *fingers crossed*
Praying! I get in these ruts too, and it can be hard to get back in a better mind frame. But you can do it! And we will reach the dream of publication one day. *fist bump*
Post a Comment