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Delaware, United States
Deborah Hawkins, penned Debra Renée Byrd, began writing after a blank book project in elementary school and never stopped, fashioning stories based on her favorite TV shows and movies before creating more original works. She studied at the University of the Arts and Florida State University before settling down and graduating from Temple University. She now resides in her hometown of Dover, DE, where she spends most of her time at work or at church. She loves fantasies, superheroes, is a trekkie and a brown coat. She loves television and lives for Final Fantasy video games, having collected most of them. She has read a myriad of authors, and her favorite authors change whenever she finds a new book that changes her life... "When you can't run, you crawl. When you can't crawl...well, you know the rest." -Tracey, Firefly, "The Message"

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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

IWSG: Ennui

I knew there was a link to this somewhere!

So I've fallen into this weird ravine in my life where I used to have all the energy in the world to look at Youtube videos I subscribe to, read Tweets from the Writerverse, read blogs (though I was bad at that to begin with, so I would catch up on 10 at a time from a 2-week span), and write, and now I'm just like...


That's a legitimate emotion right there.

I don't know if it's the weather, the end of the year, a very sneaky and quiet fraction-of-life crisis because I have those every few years, or just me being me to the extreme, but I don't feel like doing...anything. I also think it's a bit of "I have a degree, and I can't get a real job with it" and "I've been writing all of my life. What if I never get published?" and "Am I ever going to move out of my mom's house because this lady is killing me?" One big melting pot of insecurities depressing my emotions into something that I can manage because I'm a spazz and would probably freak out like that little girl from Morewood High School who had to be the best even though she wasn't, so she killed her roommate who was the best (Sarah Hyland, Law & Order: SVU "Hothouse", best actress ever. Youtube it).

On the bright side, there are ideas awakening in my pseudo-stoner brain right now, plans for 2013 and what-not. So perhaps I won't feel like this for much longer. *Cross fingers*


Hope Roberson said...

Slumps are the pits :( I wish you luck turning those ideas into a story and then into a published piece of writing :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

It can't last forever - when we hit a low, only place is up.

Anonymous said...

Very true!