Friday Freeday: The Darling Massacre

That would make a great title for a book, no?

Last night, I cut a minor chase scene that had been a piece of a dream I had the night I dreamed up the inciting incident of my fantasy WIP The Crystal Bearer. I'm not okay.

Unfortunately, it just didn't fit anymore. I used it to showcase a portion of Ghuli's power, but she does it again later, so I'm half okay with not using it. I need to figure out if I need to show her doing it against her will, though, because she wasn't able to control her powers at this point.

This cut comes during a time where I had also just told a friend, who was adapting a story from an RP in which she and a friend participated, that they're going to think everything is important to the story because of how close they are to it. I introduced them to the inevitable and painful term, "kill your darlings." So of course, I have to take my own advice. But *blubbers in my head* I loved that scene.

On the bright side, I do have another story where it will fit nicely. In my dream, I ended up jumping out of a window to safety (and catching a ride on a white tiger, which was normal for my dreams lol), but in this other story, I needed a character to fall from somewhere somehow, so at least I'll see that scene again.

Birthing a Darling??

This week has passed me by, but since it started, I have started (once again) editing my fantasy WIP Save the Queen. The big change this time: adding an opening scene.

I'm almost sure I've talked about this already, and if not, whoa deja vu. Anyway, I was so scared to do it. When it came to editing my original opening sequence, back-to-back chase scenes, I had: 1) changed the beginning by not starting on a literary long-shot of the scenery before zooming in on the impending danger and focusing right on the main character's reaction to the danger; 2) decided that the MC's supporting characters wouldn't leave her hanging through BOTH chase scenes but only one; 3) decided that since it is the job of these particular supporting characters to keep the MC alive, that they should never leave her side in EITHER scene; 4) described these characters in quick bursts and not even show the interior of their home, since it would be (not a spoiler) demolished between these scenes anyway, and elaborate on who they are as people later.

So, almost needless to say, when I received critiques, the question of the year was, "Who are these people we're supposed to care about?"

Since I joined Agent Query's Spec Fic Unit (lol), I've heard the phrase "Kill your darlings" more times than I can count, but I never thought of having to BIRTH one. I'm a very stubborn writer, which I know is bad, and I was set on this vision from when I was 18 years old. No writer wants to move off that first vision. It's their baby. So even though I went through 1-4 up there, the idea of NOT starting with the action kind of made me anxious.

Which is silly. Because if I don't take the time to establish who my charries are and where they live, who will care that their home just got torn to pieces? So I thought about it for a couple of days, posted my thoughts about it on AQC, thought about it for another couple of days, chatted on AQC to procrastinate, and then, I did it! I wrote 500+ words painting a snapshot of the characters I want people to like for the next 100k.

So, I'm proud of myself. (These posts always sound so vain. lol)

In other news, the high school drummer who lives behind us is giving me cause to commit homicide. This will be premeditated. I will plead guilty by way of gradual deterioration of sanity.

Logic

I'm not the most logical person to begin with, so when I started this story way back when (2003, almost 10 years ago, yikes), I wrote what came to me how it came to me. There was no stopping to think, "Does this make sense?"

So, when my sister read the very first draft of the 1st part of the book, she pointed out to me that Ghuli tells Laris she's okay, even though he and Cyan, who are supposed to be watching her, left her, and she almost got killed. My sister was probably appalled, even. haha

(Sidenote that's completely off topic: logic would also dictate that when you put soda into a soda machine, if you put in Mountain Dew, don't leave the little picture that says it's Sprite. Same with the Sprite saying Dr. Pepper. The soda machine guy is a jerk.)

Back to MY troubles with logic, I revised the scene a little so that her watchman come save her from certain death, but even that still didn't make sense, as another critiquer noted: Why'd they leave her in the first place if they're supposed to be watching her?  So my (fingers crossed) last revision, they're with her the entire time and face the certain death alongside her. A good thing about this as well is that readers will get to see who Laris and Cyan are and how they interact with Ghuli right off the bat instead of 3-6 pages later, where I initially had them.

This edit-time around, I will be looking for notes of logic and also reduce "info-dumping" as all the critiquers called it. We don't need to know where everyone came from in the first 10 pages, and at least I know where that information can be slipped in.

Also, readers can't see what I see in my head if I don't describe it clearly, so I have to embrace, if not the most, one of the most annoying notes: "Show, don't tell".

In other news, I have gotten under 108k words now. I had started at about 120k. I think I can get to 107...We'll see.